For Better or Worse...

Monday, May 16 is our 19th wedding anniversary.  For those of you doing the math, I was 20 years old when I got married.  We are so blessed to have Mother's Day, our anniversary, bring home our Nazeret, and Father's day all within a month!

When we got married, and I was just a baby, I discovered the Calla Lily.  It is such an elegant flower.  This has been our flower and a symbol of our love for the past 19 years.  A couple of days ago I discovered a beautiful "touch point" from God.  It turns out that the national flower of Ethiopia is...the Calla Lily.  All species of this flower are endemic to Africa.  Just another beautiful way that God has slowly woven a love for Ethiopia into our hearts throughout our lives.

If you will indulge me, I wanted to share some of my most meaningful pictures of the Calla Lily.

This picture was taken the year that our anniversary collided with the loss of our Nandad.  Notice the Calla Lilies in my bouquet in our wedding picture. (Yes, Michael had hair.)

 This beauty was growing in the Garden Tomb when I visited Jerusalem.

 Michela took this picture at the Transition Home the day we met Nazeret.

This was taken at one of the orphanages that we visited while in Ethiopia. It makes me think of a line from a Disney movie that goes something like this: "The flower that blooms in adversity is beautiful indeed."

STILL WAITING

I should be a professional "waiter" when this adoption is complete.  There is waiting involved in every step of this process from day 1.  Today, I am still waiting.

When we passed court after a two week wait, we were told we should be submitted to the Embassy on the 11th.  I have waited until today pretty well.  Tomorrow is the 11th and I don't know if we will be submitted or not.  Waiting doesn't seem quite as hard when you know how long you have to wait.  If we don't get submitted tomorrow, we will have to wait until the 18th and see if we get submitted then.  I just want to get back to Ethiopia and bring my daughter home. 

I've received reports from other families that Nazeret seems to be waiting well.  She is excited when visitors bring things from us and tell her how much we love her.  She has even shared (with another mom) something special that she would like her mommy to bring when she comes for her.  Yes, I think she is waiting better than I am.

God has really been speaking a theme to my heart over the past week.  You see, this adoption process feels a lot like a race to the "end".  Of course in some ways it is....in the "end" you get to bring your child home....but there it is: "The end is really just the beginning."  So I'm not looking forward to the end, I'm looking forward to the beginning.

I'm hoping and praying that tomorrow brings us one step closer to our beginning.

Day 5...our last day

5 days!  We spent 5 days with our daughter in Ethiopia!  5 amazing days....ONLY 5 days.


Today is Mother's Day and I am finally sitting down to blog our last day together...until we go back to bring you home forever.

Our last night in Ethiopia was the first night that I slept well.  Our day started with a shopping trip.  We started in a really beautiful shop full of beautiful gifts arranged much like an American store.  We chose our treasures (all handmade items) and headed off to the Post Office area which is the market place.  We were given 20 minutes to get all the items we wanted to bring home and get back on the van.  Thanks to the help of our driver David, who is amazing, we pulled it off.   Our next stop was lunch.

I don't know how to explain the compulsion we had to get to Nazeret.  This was our last little bit of time together and the 3 of us would have been fine with skipping lunch...just to get to her faster.  That's not how things work, so we ordered and waited.  The power went out, so they had to come back and take new orders that could be cooked without the oven.  We ordered a sandwich with "imported ham" to share.  We really wanted out of there.  When they finally brought our sandwich, there was NO ham. He took our plates back and returned our sandwich with one thin slice of ham.  We didn't even care, we just wanted to get to Nazeret.

Finally, with mounting anticipation, we climbed in the vans to go spend our last few hours with our daughter.  Because it was Saturday, only the children with parents visiting would be out today.  We were excited to have the one-on-one time.  The time seems to stall and yet pass quickly.  I don't know how to explain it.  We just played and sat together.  I knew that one of the guides would come to us when it was time to explain that we were leaving.  We didn't have any idea what to expect, but we had prayed that she would understand.

We sat with her while Job explained to her in Amharic that we were going to go back to America (like the other kid's parents), but we would come back for her and then she would go to America with us.  He asked her if she wanted to go in a car or on an airplane.  She chose an airplane.  Good thing!  We had Job ask her if she wanted us to leave her bag full of goodies or bring it when we came back.  She pulled the straps up over her shoulder and zipped it shut....she wanted to keep it.  We had one last gift for her.   We had recorded our voices on one of those Hallmark books.  She LOVED it!  She called one of the older boys over and opened it.  She told him "Daddy!"  She turned the page and said, "Mommy!"  This helped to hold the tear in our hearts together.  Maybe she was really going to be okay until we could get back to her. 

Then it was time to leave.  She headed to the gate showing everybody and anybody, who would look, her bag of goodies.  Then suddenly she came straight to me hugged my neck and planted the most precious kiss ever on my cheek.  I asked her if she had one for Daddy.  She went to him and kissed his cheek when he bent down to hug her.  Without being asked, she went to Michela and kissed her too.

It was so hard to say goodbye, but God had answered our prayers.  She seemed to understand.  We were all doing better than anybody expected.  We would make it.

So here I am on Mother's Day waiting to get back to Ethiopia.  Today is a hard day.  I miss my sweet girl and I still don't know how long it will be until we bring her home, but everyday is a day closer.

Day 4 of ONLY 5

5 days!  We spent 5 days with our daughter in Ethiopia!  5 amazing days....ONLY 5 days.


Court Day April 8, 2011...this is the day we go before an Ethiopian judge to become Nazeret's parents forever!

I didn't sleep well the night before.  I woke up early and went downstairs to send messages home.  We had another adopting mom on a cot in our room. (Her husband had already gone home and she needed somewhere to stay.  That is how close you get to other families going through this.)  We ate breakfast and went back up to our room to wait.  I was so nervous and excited; I was sure I was going to be sick.  I chewed off all my fingernails (something I haven't done in years).  While we were downstairs, we heard that Duni was back and would be going to court with us and one other family.

I had heard so many great stories about Duni.  She works for AWAA and is a force to be reckoned with.  She had been out all week getting a signature for another family from a man that had held up their adoption for months.  She had gotten the signature and was back!  When she introduced herself, she was soft spoken, hair pined up in place, dressed in an American business suit, and wearing perfectly impractical shoes, topped off with a beautiful Ugandan magazine bead necklace. It was the next thing she said that brought me to a HALT, "The judge is not coming in today."  A million things ran through my mind.  This was NOT good news, but we would do whatever we had to do.  Duni declared that we would go to the courthouse and see what was going to happen.

The courthouse is just a regular looking building.  Michael had to go back and get our passports that we didn't know we needed and the rest of us headed up the five flights of stairs to the adoption court.  When we got up there, we found out that the judge had set an assistant in her place to take statements.  This meant we were not going to have to change our flight out tomorrow (good news), but there is also no way to pass court without a judge (bad news).  Michael made it back before we were called in to the court.  The three of us went into the "judge's chambers" along with Duni and a couple of men I had never seen.  The assistant asked us five questions that we answered yes.  One of the questions was "Do your other children know you are adopting?"  Michela waved at her and we all giggled a little.  The assistant said something to Duni in Amharic and we were done.  In the hall, Duni explained that we had a blurry seal that had to be redone and then the judge would sign our case.

That was it; we were done.  We went back to the guest house before lunch.  There was a little more to our morning that added to the emotions and stress, but we prayed about it all and it went as well as it possibly could.  We met up with other families for lunch.  It rained while we ate lunch.  The rain made it cool at first and then it got really hot and humid just in time to head to the TH.

When we arrived at the TH, we were told that Nazeret had been asking for her Mommy and Daddy.  What a heart warming thing to hear.  Our daughter couldn't wait to see us.  We played and laughed so hard together.  She found some baby rings hooked together and hid them.  She would then lift her hands and shrug her shoulders as if to say "where did they go".  We would move in her direction and she would pull them from their hiding spot and run away laughing.  She did this over and over until....Michela pulled them from their hiding place when Nazeret wasn't looking.  When Nazeret went to pull them out...they weren't there.  She was so funny!  She looked everywhere and was so confused until she saw Michela walking away with them swinging behind her back.  Nazeret busted out laughing!  This was one of the best moments on the trip.  We learned that she could play and tease and laugh about it all.  This is a very good thing.

We painted nails and jumped rope.  Suddenly the afternoon was over and it was time to leave.  We only had one day left with our beautiful girl.

Oh how I miss my girl.  Lord, please don't let it be much longer.

Day 3 of ONLY 5 days

5 days!  We spent 5 days with our daughter in Ethiopia!  5 amazing days....ONLY 5 days.

Our third day in Ethiopia started with a trip up Entoto Mountain (10,827 feet above sea level) with three other families.  I had NO idea what we were going to see, but I was game for anything outside of the city.  The drive up the mountain was beautiful.  I had wondered if I would need a sweater.  Would it be cooler due to the altitude or warmer due to the sun? It was cooler...in the shade.  To my surprise there were great treasures waiting at the top of the mountain.

We had a wonderful guided tour of the first Emperor's palace, which included a history lesson on the Emperor himself as well as Ethiopia.  Our guide was well spoken and loves his country.  He made us want to hear more.  He spoke of an Emperor who saw himself as one of the people.  We learned that Ethiopians have concidered raw ox a delicacy for hundreds of years (maybe more).  Our guide reminded us that Addis Ababa means "New Flower".  He explained that the city, when it was moved down the mountain for convience, was named after a rare flower that no longer exsists.  We saw sick people who come and live on the mountain because they believe the water can heal them.  Our guide told us that the healing is not immediate; it takes time, but that it can heal a person of AIDS.

We saw the first church in Ethiopia and the beautiful christian orthodox church that is built in three tears to represent the trinity.

Our guide walked us through a museum of Ethiopian history (mostly of the Emperor) where we saw a painting that represents Psalm 68:31  Ethiopia shall soon stretch out her hands unto God. KJV
There were also many beautiful umbrellas which I knew related to the ones the women in town carry over their heads ALL the time, but I couldn't remember what the biblical connection was...so I asked.  The umbrellas are a covering of the NEW ark of the covenant...followers of Christ.
I thought these were both such beautiful images.

On our way down the mountain, we saw donkeys and women that climb up the mountain every morning and walk down the mountain every day loaded down with sticks and wood. These women earn about 20 birr a day.  That is the equivalent of about $1.

We stopped and bought each of the Kuykendall girls a traditional Ethiopian dress which we wore to church on Resurrection Sunday (Nazeret's will be here for her when she get's home.) and then we finally made our way to the TH to see our girl!

On this day, we took pictures and delivered care packages for other families.  It was great to hold some little ones, but it was hard on Nazeret.  She didn't understand what we were doing and she did not want to share her new family.  I can't say that a blame her, but it is also such a precious gift to other families and their children to take this time for them.  We had a great time with Nazeret.  She had this cute new little hair-do done with silly bands.  At the end of our afternoon, she got to take us over to the "big kid transition home" to see where she eats and sleeps.  When we had to leave....she stayed there.

It was a great day, but it ended with such an emotional THUD!  We had a scheduled traditional Ethiopian dinner complete with dancers that night, but none of us were excited about it.  We went, but we left our hearts at the TH that night and the next morning....was court.

Day 2 of ONLY 5 days

5 days!  We spent 5 days with our daughter in Ethiopia!  5 amazing days....ONLY 5 days.


In the morning we went to the TH.  When you arrive, the driver blows the horn to get the gate opened.  The vans FULL of parents pull in and unload.  The kids that were waiting on their families were on the playground.  She was so happy to see us.  She grabbed her Daddy by the hand before he even made it out of the van.

Our daughter is a very active child, but on this day....I got her to sit on my lap for just a little while.  For the first time, I planted little kisses on her cheek and her neck.  She giggled in delight!  She colored with her big sister and then without waring we were off and running again.

On this morning, some families were saying goodbye to their children and tree families were at court.  One of our daughter's little friends had been sent out to wait on her family, but they were at court so we added her to our play that day.  At recess, ALL the big kids come out from school and they ALL want a little of your attention.  They are all so precious.  I bet everyone of you reading this would consider adopting an older child if you spent one morning with these kids.

That morning when the parents loaded back into the van, our daughter hovered at the open sliding door until she realized we were sticking out hands out the window to her.  She took our hands....and I got my first kiss from her! (freely offered, not even asked for).  At that moment, my heart was SO FULL! (tears are streaming as I think about it)  I am so in love with this child!

We met up with the court families for lunch and then we visited two local orphanages.  These are well run and well maintained orphanages in the capital city.  The kids were so sweet as they sang and played games.  The girls and I, along with one of my friends and her two daughters, made 75 silk hair clip flowers to distribute to the girls in the orphanage.  They looked so pretty with them in their short hair, but the surprise was the joy they brought to the workers.  Some of the workers put them in their own hair, but most wanted them for their daughters at home.

We had our first coffee ceremony at the first orphanage we visited.  It is Ethiopian custom to roast coffee beans and make fresh coffee for your guests.  It is wonderfully strong coffee that leaves "mud" in the bottom of your tiny little cup.

At the second orphanage we visited, the older kids were in one large classroom for school.  We interrupted them with an art project.  It was organized chaos as we painted their hands and then cleaned them.  The result was beautiful!  I wish I could show you all of their smiling little faces.

Every one of these hand prints represents a child who is waiting for a forever family.  Just think about it.

ONE DAY......

Last Friday was our second court date and we received an email that basically said "not today, maybe tomorrow".  Today we received a phone call that said "not today, maybe tomorrow".

So I've been thinking a lot about passover, Jesus' last week, our redemption, our adoption and how ONE DAY HE WILL RETURN FOR US!

You see God has used this adoption journey to reveal so much about MY adoption.  I was broken when He payed the ultimate price, His life, to redeem me.  He never gives up on me!  God made me a joint heir with Jesus  (Seriously? ME? Joint heir with Jesus?) through adoption.

I love our daughter so much that I am willing to fight for her, if it comes to that.  I would NEVER give up on her.  How much more does he love me?  He died for me!

Jesus' last week in this life was hard, but He stayed focused.  He "finished well".  There are times that I just want to have a BIG ol' pity party.  Nobody deserved a pity party more that Jesus, but He didn't waste His time or energy with that.  He stayed focused on the Father and His plan.

On our first trip to Ethiopia, we spent our time showing our daughter how much we love her.  When we had to leave, she understood that we were going to prepare a place for her and we would be back to bring her home.  Sound familiar?  I worry that if too much time passes she will wonder if we ARE coming back for her.  Do I ever wonder if Jesus IS coming back for me?  Will He take me home to a place He has prepared for me?  I know He will.  I don't know when and there are days that I wish it was NOW, but I really don't question that He WILL return.  I don't think she does either.  She knows we will be back for her.  She would like it to be today, but she does know that we will return.

ONE DAY HE'S COMING! OH GLORIOUS DAY!