This morning she was holding a pair of earrings in her hand as she got in the car.
Noonday Collection Eternity Earrings -- India
Nazeret is so proud of her earrings that empower the poor. She wanted to wear them to school even though we talked about some safety concerns due to the size of the earrings. We agreed that she could wear them while in the classroom and remove them before she went to some of the more active parts of her day.
She struggled for a little while to get the post through the hole. I pulled the car over so that I could help her.
As I gently guided the earrings through, I was reminded of a scrawny seven year old girl that wanted her ears pierced so bad that she was willing to fight for it every day.
Nazeret came home at age seven and didn't speak any English. I'm guessing that she thought earrings were about the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She could see that I had my ears pierced and her two new sisters did too. I think she expected to get her ears pierced the day she landed in America.
Once home, she saw the earrings her sisters had accumulated through the years as a sign that they were loved....and she wasn't. If only I could communicate with her. Of course I loved her. I wanted to give her the desire of her heart, but there were so many issues. I couldn't make her understand that it was going to hurt and that the earrings couldn't come out for a minimum of six weeks. She would have to clean and turn them. I couldn't even take her into a mall. She HATED the car and wouldn't wear her seat belt.
We needed time to communicate and grow to a place of understanding. I wasn't opposed. I desperately wanted to give this to her....just not yet!
BAM! Right in the middle of my little flashback, God said "Exactly."
You see, I've been just like Nazeret. I know God's heart for adoption. I just can't understand why he is withholding this from me. Our family has carried the picture of a little boy with a name for six months. We prayed for him. We dreamed of how he would fit into our family. We made it through some tough ups and downs. Then, one day we received word that he would not become a part of our family. The reasons are complicated, but we could not adopt him after all.
I was crushed and I was angry with God. Yes, I even questioned his love for me. I've been on an eight week journey of trading my plan for God's.
He isn't saying "No". He's just saying "Not yet, there's more that you don't understand."
Just like Nazeret, when the time is right, I'll get my