Sunday, March 27, 2011

SO EXCITED!!!!

We are getting so close to our trip to Ethiopia to meet our daughter!  I am so excited that I'm not sleeping well at night; I can't get organized; and it is getting hard to think about anything else.  Some days I can't stop smiling and others...I can't stop crying.  I'm an emotional mess!  It is a lot like being pregnant.

Last night I heard the words I so desperately needed to hear from our mothers who will be taking care of Amelia while we are gone: "Don't worry.  We will take care of anything that comes up."  THIS also made me cry.   I don't know how to explain the concept of going half way around the world to be with one child while leaving another AND knowing that you have to leave the one to return to the other.  Lord help me.

Our stuff that we are packing/preparing to pack has spread from its corner out into several places in the house.  We have two 40lb Rubbermaid tubs of donations (thanks to another adoptive mom's collection), an additional 18lbs of wipes, a bag full of cloth diapers and homemade covers (thanks to another adoptive mom), two light weight but cumbersome Bumbo seats (thanks to my mom and dear friend), a bag full of toothbrushes and toothpaste (thanks to local dentists), four care packages to take over for other families (I am so excited to return this wonderful blessing), toys for the kids, clothes for the kids, stuff for our girl, two large canvases we plan to paint with the kids,  seventy-five silk flower hair clips (we made with friends), and a few items for us while we are there.

Please be in prayer that MOWYCA will have our letter at the court and we will have the great pleasure of hearing the judge say "She is yours....forever."  If this happens while we are there, I will then be able to share her beautiful picture and her beautiful name with all of you.  Thank you so much for joining us on this amazing journey.
 

Friday, March 11, 2011

Do you trust me?

Oh somebody please tell me that this "complete trust thing" is hard for you too.  Yes, I know my last post was about God asking me to completely trust Him and apparently we are still working on that.

There are some changes taking place in the Ethiopian adoption process that are likely to make it take longer to get our little girl home.  There is a meeting in Ethiopia Monday the 14th, which is our Sunday night, to discuss the process.  Please be in prayer that God's desire for His children would prevail.

So out of what seemed like a disaster when the change was first announced: God has achieved world attention for the Ethiopian orphan, brought families all over this country to their knees to pray together every night, and is still working to bring about change that will bring glory to Him.  Personally, I felt a call to fast my dinners this week and pray at night with an empty stomach.  God used this to remind me that this feeling of going to bed hungry is part of the problem in Ethiopia and my heart was broken for families that give up their children because they cannot feed them.

Sometimes God allows circumstances to come about that will draw us closer to Him, circumstances that teach us to trust Him in ALL things!  For the past couple of weeks I have been drawn to a song by Flyleaf.  This is a miracle in itself.  This band is alternative Christian.  The first time I heard them was live; I couldn't understand a word and I was not impressed by all the eyeliner that the male guitar player wore.  The song is called Again and the part I could listen to over and over is:

You don't have to understand;
You be still.
Wait and know I understand;
You be still.
Be still! 

It all comes back to trust.  Do I trust Him to take care of my daughter?  Are you kidding?  He is the only constant in her life.  The real question is why is He trusting me with His daughter?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Father Knows Best

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

One week ago today there were nine court dates given out and we were NOT one of them. I was so very excited for all of those families, but there was that part of me that was just a little disappointed. You see I had been evaluating my family calendar and had decided that the week ALL those families were going to be in Ethiopia was the perfect week for us to be gone. God started working in me. Over the next few days He reminded me of all the ways that HIS timing in this journey had been PERFECT. That there were things I could not have known and that once I was able to look back, it was very easy to see how perfectly He had planned and "worked all these things together".

Yesterday I was sitting in my favorite hamburger joint waiting on my order and I found myself alone...with God. I had to make a choice. I was either going to continue wanting things my way or I was going to trust Him and I mean FULLY trust Him. If I truly trusted Him and believed that He was working all things together for my good, then how could I be anything other than grateful for His perfect timing. There was a peace that came over me. I would be happy with the court date of His choosing...whenever that might be.

One hour later, I was checking my emails when I heard my phone ringing in another room. I have to explain here that this was a miracle in itself. You see...our office, that I am only in on Tuesdays, is like a bunker. There is NO signal. Our cell phones NEVER ring. We can't send or receive texts. It is a DEAD zone! Confused by the sound of my phone ringing I ran to get it before it stopped. I was sure that as soon as I picked it up I would loose signal and the call would be dropped. When I heard my family coordinator from AWAA, I held my breath in anticipation but also to somehow help my phone keep signal. The conversation was short because she could not hear me, but I could hear every word she said. "I have a court date for your family." That was really all I needed to hear. And of course...this date fits the needs of my family even better than the one I was disappointed not to get.

God has been so good to me throughout this journey. He has been so patient and loving. There have been so many beautiful and clear signs along the way. He has loved me enough to work all things together for my good rather than giving me what I want. What an AWESOME heavenly father we have!