Tuesday, September 6, 2011

What I am learning about love

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
--Christopher Robin to Pooh

As we approach our "home 3 months" mark, I am reflecting on how much we have all grown and changed individually and as a family.  When God first called us to this journey of adoption, I was filled with fear.  I told God that I was not brave enough; there is NO WAY I am strong enough; and I am NOT "one of those" smart parents.  I can NEVER do this.  He promptly told me that I was right!

You see God doesn't call up people who are full of themselves.  He wants to use people who are willing to be full of Him.  There were many days before Nazeret came home with us and many sense  that God has waited for me to remember that I CANNOT do this, but He can.  When I ASK and allow God to fill me with his perfect love, my fears are quieted and He is able to love my family through me.

Adoption is not for sissies! I have seen this said many times and I cheer inside each time.  It is true that adoptive parenting is very hard at times, but the hardest part is learning what God is teaching you through it.  The Bible says that God's perfect love is casting out fear. (1 John 4:18) Oh how I want to truly bask in His perfect love and never be afraid, but Satan knows my weakness and he hits me right there EVERY time.  Well...he may hit me there, but I still have to choose who I am going to believe.  Fear could have stopped me from experiencing the blessing that Nazeret is to our family.  I cannot imagine my life without her, but that was a choice.  I came to a cross road and I had to decide who I was going to follow.  It is still a daily struggle to trust that God's love can cast out all my fears and that He is ALL I need to....well....He is just ALL I NEED.  This is a lesson that God wants me to teach Nazeret and I so want her to be free.  (People, we can only imagine her deep rooted fears.)  How could I possibly teach this lesson without learning it myself. 

In the process of trying to accept and experience God's perfect love, I have tried to practice the Biblical definition of love.  I often repeat 1Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices when the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures.

Christopher Robin's words to Pooh are very encouraging, but I am so thankful that I don't have to be brave or strong or smart;  I just have to choose to allow God to be all of these things in me when I love the things that He loves.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.  James 1:27